sund

Return ov the blog-sound

arate me and ward didnt do the blog for the few weeks cos we wer pissin
about
back 2 buisiness heres a standard little review of prom weve been meenin to do 4 pyar time

Ward did not rate the food at all, stating that a "dog could have shat a better meal", and so in his anger preceeded 2 eat a nearby fucker
the mad bastard!
 cant remember owt els but this should sum it up proper:

Ward and Utah Reviews:Last Day Of skool

rite we ad r last day t other week n it wer aite so we reviewd it for a laugh fuk off

Assembly+slideshow:

Piss poor, toss shouts, waste of valuable pub time, what seemed like hours of pictures of fuckers we dont even like



Blog advertising oppertunities:

Bloody Great

Pub:


bit of a laugh, all wer about

Shef after:

R8 SOUND!!! PROPER MAD

overll wed give this experience a good 2.5 ward stars cos it wer arite
ward sed: start wer wank but after wer good part from all the useless tossers about, i dunt giv a fuk bout them!

ward is not happy with william hill

Wards bet went tits up and he lost a fair bit of cash
heres what happened:

R WARD DNT FUCK ABOUT!

summat r8 bad as append

breakin news: ward has gone to corp too many times in the last month and hes turned into a full on mosher
twat
he dunt even want to come newer els cos they dont do corp poision vodka! hes dyed his hair black and its r8 long aswell like a nobed and all he does is listen 2 linkin park wen not at corp!
we r pledging for help because he is about to leave the blog in order to create a "rok blog" so he can post mosher gay stuff about how good corp is
donate to the the tossers trust now so we can get him sum cool clothes and change his hair back and bring him back to his normal self b4 its too late(£20 from each person shud b enough)
mint

shockin!

Breakin news ere at blog HQ
Here is every1s fav "brick shitouse" bastard pickles in all his glory
but wots this? a salad? wots up wiv im! first the cheeky ros'e n now this!? the cheeky cunt this wud not happen back in yorkshire i tell the! sort out ur act lad b4 i give u a good and proper seein 2! get an ale down u or summat u twat av some of that

mint

Me int room wiv sum birds! i do like my birds me!
especially that kate middleton, id give her a r8 royal seeing to0!
prawn all is also quite keen
sound!

current affairs

here at ward and utah blogs, we are 2 good lads who know wats goin on in the world, and since this week has had sum undoubtably striking news events, we thourt wed share our prospective on them with you:
1st of all and probably most improtantly we shud announce that football
legend Sami Hyypia has died! RIP kind sir!

1991-2011

soz ment retired i only follow league 2 football!
also, dunno wot the death of that obama fella is all about im sure ward sed he saw him int shop t other day, he was ther in his trademark sandals and g star denims buyin some classic oven chips!
the denims wer like this i think he sed:



wat a cool new cut! i love the blue bit that ses g star on it cos blue suits me quite well and ward stated that he liked the contrast stitching over the raw, coated denim, a feature i dnt like tht much, it looks top but dunt feel rite! wich is essential 4 denims. apparently this sort of cool denim is about in obama's hometown of south leeds
thers been all this hype about that royllal girls dress n tht, be me and ward beleive that the true fashion credit should be due to that lads clothin, jacket wer wank but we saw that g star label ont back of those classic denims he wer werin, good lad! nowt better than waerin abit of top gear ont marriage ceremony n tht, talkin ov wich ow about tht nun lass in them reeboks! proper class strait out ov jd sports int it!
mint! mite hav 2 go ther 4 sum new denims 4 my hols!

TUNES!

Here at ward and utah blogs, we do like a big tune, so we are pleased to tell you about superstar DJ(and occasional ice cream tosspot) Olliey "sly"  Morgans's new Minimal Moombahton EP!
here is that cd, featuring revolutionary cool minimal style artwork by perkins:

soz the writin went all blue and i duno how 2 change it
the new cd contains 3 nu tracks includin such minimal smashers as: "turn it down abit (im tryin 2 get 2 slleep)" and "lets calm it down party ppl!"
the new release contains over 4 and a half hours of soft white noise and the occasional massive kick!
The relewase is avaidable in no alternative colours or owt and on beatport for the price of soimewhere between £3.70 and £40 or summat i cant remeber and u get  a complimentary royd aswel if u buy it quick ithink
the release also contains a bonus track of ollies accapella cover of "friday" by rebeka blacks
mint!

Attendant nobeds

 As u r all probably aware, r utah was recently fined a small fortune of £35, likely to have been given by an overweight and sexually perverted parking attendant.
In response to this crisis we at the ward and utah blog team, in a fundraising effort bring you, the tosser, an exciting new product 4 ur motor! its eve better than havin a massive fuck off spoiler or a r8 big exhaust or summat
we present to you a series of car windscreen stickers(dimensions:bit bigger than a postcard, but well smaller than a peice of a4 2 avoid obstruction wen raggin it) in an unreal 3 different varietys! garunteed to truly tell them parking nazi nobeds wer to put that fine (up their own arse?)
here are the products:

Utah edition











Ward Edition

and of course: the limited edition Ross Kemp collaboration sticker:

each sticker is at a cost of £5 (or all 3 for £20) and can be purchased  from the ward and utah store(situated at HQ r8 near turkey bench)
all proceeds go to the WardandUtah Tosser's trust, where the funds wil b used to pay off this fucking parking ticket so we can scrape together enough for that 15 stella deal at co-op(sound) jst in time 4 the easter hols!
Mint

funeral lol

 2 day me n ward n sum lads payd r respects 2 the late gr8 robert green, a very sad occasion for all involved
Robert was buried up at longstone edge, it wer sound

 r ward pays his respects
hilarity ensues
gud lad

Robert Green 1935-2011
RIP
a gud man

Review

This week on Ward and Utah Reviews, we are going to be looking at a new, forward thinkin film production by one Samuel  Higginson
The film was shot over several weeks, using the greatest in film and media production technology using creative, forwrd thinking techniques and aesthetically intersting antipostmodern themes.
Director/production manager Samuel has spent several weeks in the lengthy post production process, to obtain the required results to acheive ultimate artisic expression, and here at blog hq(central magaluf/turkey) we have had the chance to witness this prouduction for review purposes, and have concluded that it is absolute fucking toss.

The film looks like it has been shot in the arse-end of fuck knows wer (possibly darnall-sheffield or sumwher in matlock) as it is absolute wank! ward stated that it is likely they used the location of sum1s nan's house or summat
Toss!

And whos this cheeky fucker who keeps appearin?
wat a true tossend!
Mad!

Wots this? old tossers only gone and got himslef all wet int river sort it out lad ull get ur premium apparel all soakin u twat wots rong wiv ya!
Daft!

Eastenders
Mint!

Beautiful scenery and photography
loljk wat a load ov wank
Twat!

all in all we give the film a rating of no ward/utah stars due to piss poor overall quality of production, lacklustre plot and most of all the general fact that we both agree it would be more enjoyable to suffer from a dull ache in the testes for ages than endure the agonising banality of this production again, it was so wank that ward summed it up all in all as "shite" and "not worth half a wank reli"

stay tuned next week for our interview with director Sam Higginson, where me n ward ask him a few pisstake questions then fuck off for a few tinnys at turkey

sound! x










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rip fallen soldier

Robert Green

1935-2011

"There is a warmth and joy that never ends in the hearts of special friends"

The funeral of Sir Robert Green is to be held at turkey bench this friday, where there will be sum refreshments and a bangin soundsystem!
then off 2 the peacock 2 get tanked up and mourn the loss of a great man, who once walked among us

here is a picture of former eastenders actor Ross Kemp:

Sad :(

Today we are writing to acknowledge a long term supporter of the blog which sadly passed away 2 days ago. The chief executive of the ward and utah blog team and former owner of the stoney middleton fish and chip shop, robert green pictured below:

He was also a know impersinator of elton john performing hard house/ happy hardcore covers of his popular hits usually in the lounge area of the eyre arms pub in calver next to udogs house:

Rest in piece princess you will always be in our hearts love ward and utah and the rest of the blog team
<3

regards

 Here at Ward and Utah blogs corporation we wish a big happy birthday to everyones favorite seawater feind pual "prawny" hall!
wishing prosperity upon you sir! here is a picture of him wallowing in the mud on a bach in grimsby, near his beloved homeland of the deep blue yonder

In other news here is udog oversseing the general mix quality and sound aesthietics of 4x4 garage/ukbassline pioneers "Ratz", ensuring the sound is of premium quality for a large happnin audience of over 745009 people at the current palace of 90s pop sensation simply red

Ratz played such bassline slammers such as "dont think ur a g star jst cuz ur wearin superdry", "u must b daft" and their summer smasher "henleys t shirt riddim", ensuring that it truly kicked off, many were injured due to a few northern lads "avin a go", mint!

they wer then preceeded by a happy hardcore set by the 1 and only dj schooly feat. duncan from blue on the mic. nearby rap sensation professor green sed it wer good but was dissapointed as he did not pull that evening.

a monument in time

yesterday marked the 1 month anniversary of our blog, so we celebrated in true ward and udog style:

by forgetting it

Lads x

Today was a r8 gd day

Me and sum capless simpleton take a ride ont pepsi max.

Meanwhile ward shows the tossers what for whilst lying on his recently purchased bed, in his new and improved penthouse flat situated opposite turkey bench! Prime location for picking up ends/saves and pulling on his blue-veined junket pumper over the young meat

Testimonials and words of support from fans

Jamie Pickles(a good lad):

I, Jamie Pickles r8 like this blog its better than a good pint of ale on a warm summers day
i  also like a cheeky glass of wine once in a wile aswel! dnt tell the lads tho, theyll think im sum sort of puff!
xxx

Simply Red(early 90s pop sensation):
ay up, Mick Hucknall here courtosey of internation pop act simply red, loving the work on this blog its as good quality as one of our platinum selling records!
xxx

Paul Scholes(Football Legend):
I hav no idea wot dis is on about but i do love abit of footy!

 

Rodders(Football Legend):

no comment

sTandard Teasing of mmah girlz

The girls love it when i teaze em wiv a bit of groping of my pink walnut. just show em a bit of the old scrote and they cant resist the udog way

tourtorial #1- how 2 rod ppl!

setp 1.
Find some tossers:
(these shud do)

Step 2:
show em wat for

step 3:
sound

just fukin tossers everwhere

the tossers dont understand the term "fuck off" so i resorted to the silent rodding approach tht showed em

special moments

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