Thursday 28 April 2011

TUNES!


soz the writin went all blue and i duno how 2 change it
the new cd contains 3 nu tracks includin such minimal smashers as: "turn it down abit (im tryin 2 get 2 slleep)" and "lets calm it down party ppl!"
the new release contains over 4 and a half hours of soft white noise and the occasional massive kick!
The relewase is avaidable in no alternative colours or owt and on beatport for the price of soimewhere between £3.70 and £40 or summat i cant remeber and u get  a complimentary royd aswel if u buy it quick ithink
the release also contains a bonus track of ollies accapella cover of "friday" by rebeka blacks
mint!

Monday 18 April 2011

Attendant nobeds

 As u r all probably aware, r utah was recently fined a small fortune of £35, likely to have been given by an overweight and sexually perverted parking attendant.
In response to this crisis we at the ward and utah blog team, in a fundraising effort bring you, the tosser, an exciting new product 4 ur motor! its eve better than havin a massive fuck off spoiler or a r8 big exhaust or summat
we present to you a series of car windscreen stickers(dimensions:bit bigger than a postcard, but well smaller than a peice of a4 2 avoid obstruction wen raggin it) in an unreal 3 different varietys! garunteed to truly tell them parking nazi nobeds wer to put that fine (up their own arse?)
here are the products:

Utah edition











Ward Edition










and of course: the limited edition Ross Kemp collaboration sticker:










each sticker is at a cost of £5 (or all 3 for £20) and can be purchased  from the ward and utah store(situated at HQ r8 near turkey bench)
all proceeds go to the WardandUtah Tosser's trust, where the funds wil b used to pay off this fucking parking ticket so we can scrape together enough for that 15 stella deal at co-op(sound) jst in time 4 the easter hols!
Mint

Friday 8 April 2011

funeral lol

 2 day me n ward n sum lads payd r respects 2 the late gr8 robert green, a very sad occasion for all involved
Robert was buried up at longstone edge, it wer sound
 r ward pays his respects
hilarity ensues
gud lad
Robert Green 1935-2011
RIP
a gud man

Thursday 7 April 2011

Review

This week on Ward and Utah Reviews, we are going to be looking at a new, forward thinkin film production by one Samuel  Higginson
The film was shot over several weeks, using the greatest in film and media production technology using creative, forwrd thinking techniques and aesthetically intersting antipostmodern themes.
Director/production manager Samuel has spent several weeks in the lengthy post production process, to obtain the required results to acheive ultimate artisic expression, and here at blog hq(central magaluf/turkey) we have had the chance to witness this prouduction for review purposes, and have concluded that it is absolute fucking toss.



The film looks like it has been shot in the arse-end of fuck knows wer (possibly darnall-sheffield or sumwher in matlock) as it is absolute wank! ward stated that it is likely they used the location of sum1s nan's house or summat
Toss!


And whos this cheeky fucker who keeps appearin?
wat a true tossend!
Mad!

Wots this? old tossers only gone and got himslef all wet int river sort it out lad ull get ur premium apparel all soakin u twat wots rong wiv ya!
Daft!

Eastenders
Mint!

Beautiful scenery and photography
loljk wat a load ov wank
Twat!

all in all we give the film a rating of no ward/utah stars due to piss poor overall quality of production, lacklustre plot and most of all the general fact that we both agree it would be more enjoyable to suffer from a dull ache in the testes for ages than endure the agonising banality of this production again, it was so wank that ward summed it up all in all as "shite" and "not worth half a wank reli"

stay tuned next week for our interview with director Sam Higginson, where me n ward ask him a few pisstake questions then fuck off for a few tinnys at turkey

sound! x










.







.

Wednesday 6 April 2011

rip fallen soldier

Robert Green

1935-2011

"There is a warmth and joy that never ends in the hearts of special friends"

The funeral of Sir Robert Green is to be held at turkey bench this friday, where there will be sum refreshments and a bangin soundsystem!
then off 2 the peacock 2 get tanked up and mourn the loss of a great man, who once walked among us

here is a picture of former eastenders actor Ross Kemp:


Tuesday 5 April 2011

Sad :(

Today we are writing to acknowledge a long term supporter of the blog which sadly passed away 2 days ago. The chief executive of the ward and utah blog team and former owner of the stoney middleton fish and chip shop, robert green pictured below:

He was also a know impersinator of elton john performing hard house/ happy hardcore covers of his popular hits usually in the lounge area of the eyre arms pub in calver next to udogs house:



Rest in piece princess you will always be in our hearts love ward and utah and the rest of the blog team
<3

regards

 Here at Ward and Utah blogs corporation we wish a big happy birthday to everyones favorite seawater feind pual "prawny" hall!
wishing prosperity upon you sir! here is a picture of him wallowing in the mud on a bach in grimsby, near his beloved homeland of the deep blue yonder
In other news here is udog oversseing the general mix quality and sound aesthietics of 4x4 garage/ukbassline pioneers "Ratz", ensuring the sound is of premium quality for a large happnin audience of over 745009 people at the current palace of 90s pop sensation simply red

Ratz played such bassline slammers such as "dont think ur a g star jst cuz ur wearin superdry", "u must b daft" and their summer smasher "henleys t shirt riddim", ensuring that it truly kicked off, many were injured due to a few northern lads "avin a go", mint!

they wer then preceeded by a happy hardcore set by the 1 and only dj schooly feat. duncan from blue on the mic. nearby rap sensation professor green sed it wer good but was dissapointed as he did not pull that evening.

Monday 4 April 2011

a monument in time

yesterday marked the 1 month anniversary of our blog, so we celebrated in true ward and udog style:

by forgetting it

Lads x

Today was a r8 gd day

Me and sum capless simpleton take a ride ont pepsi max.

Meanwhile ward shows the tossers what for whilst lying on his recently purchased bed, in his new and improved penthouse flat situated opposite turkey bench! Prime location for picking up ends/saves and pulling on his blue-veined junket pumper over the young meat

Sunday 3 April 2011

Testimonials and words of support from fans

Jamie Pickles(a good lad):
I, Jamie Pickles r8 like this blog its better than a good pint of ale on a warm summers day
i  also like a cheeky glass of wine once in a wile aswel! dnt tell the lads tho, theyll think im sum sort of puff!
xxx


Simply Red(early 90s pop sensation):
ay up, Mick Hucknall here courtosey of internation pop act simply red, loving the work on this blog its as good quality as one of our platinum selling records!
xxx


Paul Scholes(Football Legend):
I hav no idea wot dis is on about but i do love abit of footy!

 

Rodders(Football Legend):
no comment